That said, and as annoying as I might be, I like to think I'm in a position to give a little advice. Why? Because I parented two children who were 17 months apart basically on my own.
I haven't just experienced motherhood, I've SURVIVED it. My life quickly became about what was needed for everyone to simply survive. When you are stripped down to this level of survival things are no longer about what would be nice or the fancy new things that the other mothers have, it's about what you NEED to make it through the day. I don't suggest a swing because it was cute, I suggest it because some days that is the ONLY way I was able to shower and feed myself. See what I'm getting at?
Even now, do I love TVs and video games? NO. But do I own them and do they come out when a kid is home sick and I need to work. Abso-friggen-lutely. Survival, baby. Survival.
So all that said, I often think about things I would tell a new mother if she was willing to hear it. What would I say if I could only give her one piece of advice that would stick and would help her after giving birth? And I think I've narrowed it down to this:
Brace yourself, sista.
Not because you have no idea what's coming (you don't). Not because you're about to experience giving birth. Not because you're going to be so sleep deprived you'll fall asleep sitting up. Not because you're going to learn what it's like to be pooped on, spit up on and otherwise used like someone else' personal maid/servant/play toy. No, not for all of those real and maybe slightly scary reasons.
Brace yourself because you're about to change.
Brace yourself because motherhood makes you the strongest and most vulnerable version of yourself you could ever possibly imagine. Brace yourself because someone is about to enter the world who could single-handedly make you jump in front of a moving car if you had to, to protect them. Brace yourself because you're about to become a fiercely strong lioness. A lioness with an Achilles heel so weak even the thought of harm coming to your child feels like it's enough to utterly destroy you.
Brace yourself because from here on out, from the moment you experience the miracle of giving birth, you will live and breathe for someone else. Because even in your most selfish moments, your child will always occupy a place in your mind. First, you will never leave their side and then, when you inevitably have to let them go, you will always wonder if they are okay.
Yes, YOU are beginning a transformation. This isn't about "having" a baby. This isn't about what's involved in giving birth. This isn't about schedule or sleep or the 8 lbs that's about to come flying out of your va-jay-jay.
This is about becoming a mother.
You, my friend, are about to experience a love so profound you will wonder how you ever existed without it. A love that will change you and consume you from the moment they arrive until the day you leave this earth.
So brace yourself, sista.
And WELCOME TO MOTHERHOOD.
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